Black Bird: Homecoming

[mistersmith_tm]

(Continued from here).

He was floating in pain and darkness haunted by brief, fleeting images of illumination. Delirium. Bliss lying on the floor of the temple, soaked in sweat, his feathers molting. And darkness. Kurdy, arms folded across his broad chest, glaring at him in defiance and disgust. Calling him a madman; just another basketcase who believed he heard voices. And darkness. Joan in the arms of the Devil, jeering at him. Darkness. Sister Hannah slamming the doors to the school in his face. He was nothing but trouble. Where we walked death followed. Shades of grey. Rose, pulling away from his embrace. Afraid and angry. You're not my Daddy! I want my real Daddy! Swirling shades of red and black. Aille raging at him, a heavy clock in her hand poised to throw at his head as she screamed her anger. How she never wanted to see him again. How she didn't love him. Had never loved him. He wasn't worthy of her. Had never been worthy . . . Darkness and pain, deep and cold and soul biting. His heart broken in a million pieces. His mind scattered and . . .

Babies crying. The soft brush of tiny wings against the palm of his hand. Twilight through red pain. A gentle voice and cool, soothing touch on his brow. Twilight, high above. Murky, as if seen from a great depth. A small hand slipping into his, squeezing gently. Wake up, Daddy. I know you're in there. Glimmering motes of light, thinning twilight. Voices. Many voices. Sometimes together but sometimes alone, coaxing. Pleading. Encouraging. And her voice, speaking to his heart and his soul. To the very deepest part of him. In frustration. In love. Guiding him closer to . . .

A glimmer of light, as thin as a razor's edge. The Voice. In his mind, always in his mind, but distant. Sympathetic. Almost apologetic. And proud.

Pain, sharp and red and angry and alive filled his body like a fragile vessel, making him moan. The thin white line became a growing dawn on the surface of the darkness as . . .

Mister Smith's eyes fluttered and weakly opened to the living world.

Comments

[aille.livejournal.com]

As she started to see his eyes open, she jumped up from the chair she'd been sitting in for three days now. "His eyes are opening!" Crouching down at the edge of the bed she held his hand tightly in her own. "Come on baby, I know you can do it... wake up for us."

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

"Please, Daddy? Please wake up?" said Rose anxiously, staring intently at his face and willing him with all of her heart to open his eyes.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

Opening his eyes slowly, wincing at the unexpected brightness after so much darkness, and wondering where he was. Focusing as his mind tried to shake off cob webs, and seeing two beautiful faces before him.

He tried to speak, but winced in pain as he took a breath so that only a tiny whisper came out.

"Hi."

[aille.livejournal.com]

Reaching behind herself, Aille picked up the glass of water with a sraw in it, "Drink this slowly love, you've been running a fever the past few days." She was still upset with him, but she could let him heal abit before she let him know just how upset she was.

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

Rose was upset too and had every intention of scolding him when the time came because he had sneaked out and gotten hurt again. But right now she just wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him how much she loved him.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

He tried to lift his head but it was too heavy and sent another wave of pain through his body. He was tired. And as weak as a kitten. Grateful for the straw, he took a sip of the water, letting the cool liquid wet his dry mouth and throat. Even that small act seemed an effort.

And now it was coming back to him. The last thing he remembered. The last thing he'd felt. Where he'd been . . . what he'd been doing.

"Theo?" he asked softly.

[aille.livejournal.com]

"Alive and staying with Hermes. He sent word two days ago, while asking about you." There may have been a bit of a flair in her eyes. "She got shot in the shoulder only and his healing well. But doesn't feel safe in Clarefield right now.

Motioning for him to drink some more water.

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

Rose knew that Mommy was really really angry at Daddy, but not a bad hateful kind of anger. Not like the anger she was used to seeing where she was from. It was a kind of hurt, worried, mommy-kind of anger. She put her hand on her Mommy's arm to let her know that she understood and she was upset at Daddy too.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

Closing his eyes, he took a few more sips of water. Feeling it course it's cool way down his throat and into his empty stomach, sending chills through him. "Thank you," he whispered.

He lifted his gaze and met Aille's eyes. He didn't need to see the anger and the pain and the worry to know it was there. He could feel it coming off of her in waves. He could feel it from Rose, too. And god only knew how many other people he loved that he'd managed to hurt by his actions.

How many people had died in Clairfield in spite of his warning? How badly had he been hurt?

But what he worried about most was, would his actions lose him the woman he loved?

"I'm sorry." His voice was only a whisper but his expression was wretched and sincere.

[aille.livejournal.com]

"You foolish man you... do you think a simple I'm sorry is going to make me forget what you did?" Her voice was soft, but there was hurt in it. "You're not leaving this bed for at least a week to come, and this temple? Without someone else? Gods Smith... you scared me... and Bliss... if it hadn't been for that apple..." She brushed back his hair gently, tears in her eyes.

"You saved them though... at least more than would have been if you hadn't been there." Oh she was glad he was going to be alright, but it would be sometime before he would be 100%. "You're lucky... you know that right?"

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

"I know," he said hoarsely, managing a tiny nod. "Lucky. To have you." Tears misted his eyes and spilled onto his cheeks, running in little rivers to the pillow. Sorry wasn't enough. He knew that. The pain in his heart was worse than any wound, seeing her so angry and upset and hurt by his actions. How to explain he'd had no choice? But no, that didn't matter. He'd again hurt the people he loved the most, and for that there was no excuse.

"I know . . ." He weakly raised his hand, finding it as heavy as lead but needing to touch her. His fingers brushed her hand. "Sorry isn't . . . enough." But what else could he say? Don't hate me.

[aille.livejournal.com]

Wipping his tears gently away, she leaned down and kissed his forehead, she still loved him deeply, she was just extreamly upset at him. And Angry... no furious at his god.

"They were... they were just going to leave you to die... they thought there was nothing that could have been done..." and if he was still mortal, that would have been true. "But you didn't die... and you *won't* die."

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

"Die?" He mouthed the word, a frown shadowing his face. He was hurt. Hurt badly. He could feel that much. Every nerve and muscle in his chest felt like a thousand pinpricks and breathing was an agony. But . . . die?

The apple Bliss had given him . . . the apple from Hera's garden. The one that supposedly bestowed immortality to mortals. He hadn't really believed in it. In his immortality. But he hadn't gone out of his way to test the theory . . .

He couldn't lift his head to see the rest of him. Not without great effort. Surely . . . the wound hadn't been mortal. Had it?

"How bad?" he managed softly.

[aille.livejournal.com]

"You were shot here..." Gently touching his chest, on the left side and working her way over with each here, "here... here... here... and here. And one of them went all the way though. Any one of them would have killed you... the last struck your heart." And she'd had a hell of a time getting it out so he could heal.

No, she wasn't going to be soft with him, not about this.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

He looked at her with shocked disbelief. Five times? He'd been shot five times? And . . . through the heart? That wasn't . . . that couldn't be . . . possible. One look at Rose's face . . . one glance at Aille's expression, and he knew. It was true. It had to be true. He was here, alive, as proof of it. Shot multiple times in the chest . . . through the heart? And still alive?

Immortality.

But more than that . . . the wrenching pain in his soul as he realized what he'd done to them. Not on purpose. Not willingly. But there just the same.

"Oh god." To put her through that agony and fear again . . . so soon after . . . after . . .

He began to weep with anguish.

[aille.livejournal.com]

Squeezing his hand tightly and leaning over and giving him a soft kiss, "It's alright love, you're alive. But when you're well enough, you are going to hear it, from each of us." She loved him deeply, but she was very upset with him.

"Just so you know love... Theo's injury... it would have been a lot worse if not for you. The bullet wasn't at full speed, because it went though you first."

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

The tears did not stop falling nor did the anguish in his heart disappate. She had every right to be angry with him. To scream and yell and throw things if she needed to. He nodded his understanding, weakly twining his fingers with hers and trying to give them a gentle squeeze.

Sims had failed. Theo was alive, and that was important. To Clairfield and the Alliance. But right now he hated the Voice. Hated being a pawn. Being forced to rip apart his family's emotions.

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

"We love you, Daddy! And you saved Miss Theo and her baby and lots of other people. But we're mad at you, too, because you snuck out of the house and didn't tell us where you were going and we want you to stop getting hurt!" said Rose, tears streaming down her face.

[aille.livejournal.com]

Aille reached over and pulled Rose into a hug, she'd ben torn between the babies, Smith and Rose the past three days, most of the time the twins only getting attention from her while breast feeding. They'd been cared for by Bliss and Joan. Where as Rose hadn't left her daddies side.

"This is the last time Smith... the very last. I can't deal with this again. None of us can."

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, honey," he said wretchedly, new tears rolling down his cheeks. "God . . . I'm so sorry." He moved his hand across the mattress, extending it to Rose and Aille. "I . . . promise." He met their eyes, their beautiful faces blurred by his tears. Let the Voice give him warts and hives and bleeding sores. Let it do whatever it wanted to him. He didn't care. He wasn't going to put his family through this torment again.

"Never again." His heart cried out it's anguish to the Voice as well as to them. He was tired of being the chosen one. He was tired of hurting the ones he loved. And being hurt.

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

Rose hugged her Mommy with both arms and kissed her. Keeping one arm around her, she reached out her small hand and laid it in her Daddy's palm. He was still too sick to hug just yet, even though she wanted to.

"Promises were important. That's what you've always told me, Daddy," she said seriously. "Once you make them you had to keep them."

[aille.livejournal.com]

"Thank you love." She laid her hand over his mark, the one she'd placed on him. "You'd best keep that promise though... or I'll let you know it." Giving Rose a soft kiss on the top of the head, "You're daughter is right, promises are important."

"You're babies have missed you..."

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

"This one . . . I'll keep." It was difficult to talk and it hurt to breath, but he was determined that they know he was sincere. Because he was. He intended to that promise, no matter what it took. He hadn't intended to get hurt when he answered the Voice's urgent summons. He never did. But that never stopped it from happening. His family deserved better. "I love you . . . so much." More tears spilled from his eyes as he looked at them. "And the . . . twins . . ."

[aille.livejournal.com]

"Bliss has them right now... they're being watched over." Even though her arms ached to hold them, they didn't need to be around this just yet. "They missed you though. They both make motions over towards you while I'm feeding them. Haven't they Rose?"

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

"They have," she nodded emphatically. "When I was holding Brigid so Mommy could change Angus, she started to try and fly and I think she wanted to come to you." She gave his hand a squeeze.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

He wished he could look at the babies, the way he was looking at Aille and Rose right now. Wished he could touch them and hold them, just like he wished he could hold the two dear ones here by his side. But he knew it probably wasn't wise. Not just yet. It hurt so very much to move his head or to take a breath . . . he doubted he could sit up or lift his arms long enough to hold any one of them. And that hurt even more.

If only the Voice had given him more warning, he might have convinced Theo to get out of harms way and none of this would have happened. But what was done was done. He sighed. "I'm sorry . . ."

He'd never be able to say it enough.

[aille.livejournal.com]

"I know darling." She soothed his hair out of his face, "I'll bring the twins into see you later, when it's time for their feeding, right now though, I just want you to close your eyes and go back to sleep. You need to heal up."

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

"Mommy's right. You need to sleep. And when you wake up again, we'll be right here. Maybe you can even have some chicken soup! Sister Hannah says chicken soup is one of the best medicines in the whole world, next to lots of love."

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

Oh God, how he loved them so! He wanted to kiss them and hug them desparately!

"Sister Hannah's . . . a wise . . . woman," he whispered. "I think . . . chicken soup sounds . . . great. But . . . love . . . even . . . better."

[aille.livejournal.com]

"Shhh baby, your throat is still healing, don't over do it." Leaning down and kissing his cheek gently, "You'll always have both from us. Love & soup." Giving him a half grin.

[daddys-rose.livejournal.com]

"And chocolate chip cookies," volunteered Rose. "Now go to sleep, Daddy. You need to get better and sleep is really important."

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

He gave a little laugh, trying not to wince as it sent a shiver of pain through his body. "Yes . . . Nurse Rose . . ." he said obediently. "And . . . Doctor Aille . . ." he added, with a weak smile for his beloved wife.

With Aille's gentle touch on his forehead and the warm weight of Rose's hand in his palm, he closed his eyes . . . and was almost instantly asleep.