When in your life did you know you were not alone?

[mistersmith_tm]

Dying is a very personal thing. It's also pretty lonely. Just you and your thoughts and the Void. Then nothing. Peace. Quiet. Void.

Unless you're me. Then dying is no different than living. The day to day struggle to survive in a world gone mad. Where you can't trust anyone you meet and no one trusts you. Where only the strong survive. The weak -- and little guys, like me -- are lucky to make it to the next day in one piece. After 15 years of beatings and starving and lost hope, I was done. I was already more dead than alive, anyway. Jumping off the bridge only finished what the Big Death started. I'd probably still be there, too.

Except. Two things happened.

I heard the Voice. That was kind of surprising, since I was drowning and pretty far under. Probably even already dead. I'd never heard that Voice before, but I knew what it was. You can't mistake it for anything else, you know? It was clear about what it wanted, too. "There's work to be done."

"Fuck you!" I said. Or maybe my mind did. But It heard me. "You abandoned us! You let death and terror into the world and now look at us! Look at what we've become!"

"I know, said the Voice. "But I'm back now."

I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to care. But when you're dead . . . well, you're a captive audience.

"My Voice will be heard," It said. "You will be my Voice."

I didn't want to be anyone's Voice. Especially when I'd never been able to find my own after a lifetime of despair and loneliness.

"Let me die in peace," I cried. "Let me do at least one thing right!"

The Voice was silent. But It did something that changed my future forever. Changed me forever.

It showed me Rose.

Comments

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

I know now how Cupid feels. Every time I look at the twins, I can't help feeling how proud I am of them. Or how hard it is to believe that they're here. That they're really mine.

I just wish . . . well, I wish it could have been the same with Rose. I never saw her as a baby. Never even knew about her . . . not until it was almost too late. *there is sadness in his own eyes, but he covers it quickly*

You're the gift, Psyche. I never new my grandparents. Or my parents. That's something I can never have. But the twins will, and that's a special relationship they can only share with you.

*sympathetic* If you miss him as much as I miss Aille when she's away, then I know exactly how you feel. I think visiting the twins will help fill that void, if just for a little while.

[psyche-soul.livejournal.com]

I am sure that Allie gets that soft look in her eyes, the one that says how she loves them, but underneath it, anyone tries to hurt them, I will kill them. *Psyche knew that, if she ever got her hands on the person who took Allie from her and Eros, it wouldn't be pretty*

*She took his hand, suddenly realising he knew some of what she flt, although for her Allie was a grown woman now, with her own family* It is hard, having something but not having it, you are lucky you got her back so quickly, I would not wish the pain I feel on anyone else.

*squeezes his hand softly* And you are the gift to me, willing to help in any way he can to give me my family, and them me.

It has been hard, he spent so much time away when we first got together, convinced he was not wrthy of me or my love. But I couldn't let him go. We were happy and things were going well, then one day he left. All he left was a note.

I couldn't lose him, I couldn't lose someone lese I love. Now...now we have brief moments, a few words, sometimes hours, but never longer. I love him so much, I just wish he would stop believing that being with me marks my death.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

*softly* If anyone tried to hurt any one of them -- or you -- I'd kill them myself. I've never had a family before. Never believed that I could. I'm not going to let anyone or anything take it now that I have.

*looks down at her hand in his, then squeezes it gently in return* Maybe you don't see him as much as you'd like, but there's still contact. There's still love. And where there's love, there's always hope. Hang onto that hope. The hours may one day become days, and then longer.

[psyche-soul.livejournal.com]

If anything hurt me I think there would be two men in front of you at least. You father in law and Orpheus, I am blessed to have people who care so about me. They help by giving me strength to keep trying and keep fighting.

I know and it took so long for him to see that I would not give up on him. Lucky that I am stubborn and will not take no for an answer any more *laughs softly* We do see one another when we can, and strange thing is, everytime I see him, I am sure I fall in love with him all over again.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

You know, I feel the same way about Aille. It's just like that. Exactly like that. Every time I see her, I fall in love all over again.

[psyche-soul.livejournal.com]

The more I speak with you, the more I see we are alike. Old life to new beginnngs, lost children, distant loves. A strong sense of good...*laughs* An old romantic.

I understand now more than ever why you understand how I feel.

[mistersmith-tm.livejournal.com]

An old romantic. *laughs softly* I never thought of myself that way but, well, I guess it's true.

Everything will work out, Psyche. And you deserve to be happy.

*gently patting her hand before letting it go* I'll let you know just as soon as there's some free time for you to come visit the twins. That's a promise.

[psyche-soul.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

*stands still for a moment before moving towards him and kissing his cheek*

Look after my babies wont you, and yours of course.

*With a bright truely happy smile she vanishes*